The Hipster Abides

It's the third whole day in Scotland and I'm in full research mode. I have an office, a regular lunch spot in the courtyard, a Uni Aberdeen library card, a regular coffee stop and a regular lunch place. The latter is the most hipstery things I've yet come across in Aberdeen. Don't judge, people-- I go there not because I worship the hipsters, as some of you suspect, nor am I myself a hipster by a long shot-- but rather because it's the only place on campus you can find vegetarian food. Organic vegetarian food, of course. Haha.

As for "my office" in the Old Brewery, I actually share it with a smart-alecky "applied theologian" in his mid-30s called Mark, whose first words upon entering the office this morning were (in thoroughly Scottish brogue):

"Ay! It smells absoloot'ly frooity in here!"

I said (in thoroughly indeterminate US accent) "Yeah, it's my new organic shampoo from Sainsbury's. Sorry to make the place smell so 'girlie'. I'll smoke a cigar in here later."

"Aye, you will? Good, good."

Mark likes to dish on other denominations (who doesn't? Certainly not Church of Scotland Prezbies, which Mark is through-and-through), especially Catholics. But especially Episcopalians. I'm delighted to join in over the Catholics, but regarding the Episcopalians...ach. Too soon.

Mark also happens to be married to an American woman, hence his easy tolerance for my 'Merican ways, e.g.:
(i) not smoking in my office
(ii) not smoking at all
(iii) bugging him for the location of coffee shops in which I can work
(iv) bugging him by saying "you GOTTA see THIS!" every quarter-hour, and subsequently playing stupid YouTube videos, and
(v) arriving at work before 10 in the morning. Yes, that's right, folks: I'm an early-riser here, by comparison. AND a hard worker. It's all so delicious. When I was in Beijing I felt like such a hobo compared to the industrious Chinese ph.D students there. They operate on a whole 'nother level.

Turns out Mark's 'Merican wife grew up only a few miles from where I lived for 9 years, near Mitchell, South Dakota. MITCHELL. SOUTH DAKOTA. It's all very twilight-zonish, or Coen-brothersish, or something. Mark has already told me how much he loves visiting Mitchell- especially the Doll Museum. I remember well the old Doll Museum. I'm pretty sure he's joking, but Scotsmen can be danged subtle when they want to be. I know that's not the stereotype, but there it is.

I'm alone in the office for the rest of today (hence the blogging). Mark's left to attend a conference at which he said he will give a "less-than-serious" talk "because no future employers of mine will be there." The paper is about Erasmus (who was dogmatically Catholic throughout the Reformation, but whose place of eternal rest in the Netherlands has since been converted into a Reformed Church, irony of ironies). Specifically, Mark said he was giving a most irreverent talk about various rules of conduct set down by Erasmus for the education of young boys, e.g. when you can fart, or when you can play with your hair or your ears during class, etc. Mark's main locus of research is on the topic of shame, so I told him it was good practice to experience his area first-hand every so often, as he was sure to do today. He laughed and left our fruity office.

I'd better get back to work. But first I've gotta finish my hipster coffee and my hipster vegetarian sandwich, and read this article on my new favorite hipster band from the UK.

Sainsbury's

Sainsbury's is the Meijer of Scotland, and I love it. Probably because I'm ignorant of all its foibles and other nefarious dealings as a foreign mega-corporation. Nevertheless, I just got back from a bit of shopping, and of all the delightful organic produce and food products (including--drum roll--a new favorite food: a cereal (gasp!) that's basically shredded wheat (gasp! without chocolate and/or peanut butter!) filled with heavenly (organic) apricot goo...mmmm) and organic soaps and organic, locally-grown q-tips (You're surprised? What sheep-related product ISN'T local in the wee sheep-ie country of Scotland? Although I could definitely see picking up some cotton swabs at the Scottish Wal-mart only to see "Made in Macao" printed on the back. They...they don't even HAVE sheep in Macao.*)

Well, I think the jet-lag is finally catching up to me. Or rather, the fact that I went to bed at 3 and got up at 7 is catching up to me. I had to slap myself in the face on several occasions today whilst doing some translation work (thankfully, Guido was not present during the face-slapping). So yes, I need to get with the time-zone, as they say. Which I can't even do in my usual time-zone. Ah, well... "You can take Elise out of the country, but you can't take the Elise out of Elise."**


*I stand self-corrected.
**Unless, like, I named one of my teeth "Elise". Then you could take it out of Elise. Or maybe a liver. Those are those things you have two of, right Bub? Mine is below my stomach and to the left of my body [inside joke. Teehee.] No, of course I know where my liver is-- it's where all the Talisker goes! Giddyup.

Once bitten, twice shy. Thrice addicted?

It seems likely. Round about February I got a terrible urge to travel to new lands, and thankfully the grant gods complied. For here I am on World Tour Numero Three-o. I'm in Aberdeen at the moment, but since two of the three destinations this summer happen to be within the erstwhile empire of Attila the Hun, I've dedicated the blog to him. Well, not really-- what with his lacking any moral compass whatsoever--but he IS in the title. Cheers for infamy?

Since the videos were a hit last year, I officially commence 2010's blog in like fashion: